"If it can happen for me, it can happen for you too."



“I always wanted to be a mother. Growing up, there was no indication that there would be any problem conceiving. My mom got pregnant after only three months of trying at the age of 35. Other women in my family also conceived easily--and sometimes accidentally. I didn't know a single person who struggled.

My plan was to get pregnant at 28, have three kids, and be done by the time I was 35. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time, but it didn't happen that way.
I came off birth control at 28, and it took several months before my period was regular again. At this point, we just weren't preventing pregnancy. That first year passed quickly without any success. Then, I became serious about it. I started tracking my cycles using my BBT and cervical mucus. We did bloodwork, semen analysis, and an HSG test. Everything came back normal. There was no reason we weren't getting pregnant. My OB/GYN advised to just keep trying.

So, we did. Another year went by. Feeling like I was doing everything right and without any direction from my doctor, I decided to seek out help. I started going to a fertility acupuncturist twice a week, taking herbs, and adjusting my diet a bit. Within the first month, I had a positive pregnancy test.

At 8 weeks, we went in for the first ultrasound. No heartbeat. My hormone levels weren't where they should be. The doctor then told me I was wrong. I must have my dates wrong about my last period. Come back in two weeks. And if I start bleeding, I should give them a call.

The next two weeks were torturous. I wasn't sure what was going on with my body, and I felt unheard and unsupported by my doctor. Finally, on Sunday night, the night before my appointment, I started bleeding. Over the course of the next week, I miscarried.

It was at this point that I decided that I would stand up for myself and do what was best for me. It took several months for my body to get back to normal. At this point, I finally knew I could conceive, I just had to sustain it.

I was careful with my diet, I continued with acupuncture, and I fully trusted that I would get pregnant again and have a child. Eleven months after that first positive pregnancy test, I had another one. I immediately requested a prescription for progesterone from my doctor. At that 8-week ultrasound, there was a heartbeat.
I gave birth to my son, Lincoln, on my due date, August 13, 2014. It was three days after my 32nd birthday. It was a four-year journey, and it was worth it to have our son.

It was that experience of feeling alone, unheard, and unsupported that led me to becoming a fertility coach. I now get to be support for someone else both with the health and mindset sides of a fertility journey.”

If you want to learn more about Courtney’s journey or get more information about fertility coaching, visit her website or social media:

Website: www.cgtcoaching.com 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/cgtcoaching/

Instagram: www.instagram.com/courtneyguerintully

YouTube: Fertility Journey Stories


Subscribe for Updates


“My husband and I waited until our wedding day for our first kiss and all intimacy. We thought honoring God with our purity would bless our marriage and everything we desired from it. Getting married in our mid-thirties, we both never wanted to wait any longer to begin trying for kids. Little did we know that after 6 months of trying, and spending thousands of dollars of testing, we would not conceive, and the specialist doctor would have absolutely no answers.

I was ready to sign up for IUI the day our testing came back inconclusive. I was tired of crying every month my period came on or being embarrassed when someone asked me why I wasn’t pregnant yet. My husband had faith and said, “I don’t think that IUI/IVF is going to be a part of our story.”

In June 2018 (After 12 months of trying) Our church held a 9 day fast for every couple trying to conceive (9 days for every month of our future pregnancy). Our pastor told us specifically he believed God was telling him that we would get pregnant naturally.

21 months after starting our journey, modifying our diet to keto, exercising consistently, and praying more fervently, without any medical intervention, we conceived naturally! My regular doctor who initially referred us out to a fertility clinic asked me how we got pregnant. You can call it what you want, but we call it a God-given miracle. I believe this became my story because God knew I wouldn’t be ashamed to tell what we’ve been through! I know there are so many more couples who have been waiting much longer than us, but please believe God can do anything!”

For more information about Michelle Tillman’s journey, please visit her YouTube Channel or her Podcast.




“Our dearest Kennedy, your legacy lives on...

On August 17, 2009 Kennedy Milan Wilson was born silently into this world. After 25 hours of labor our beautiful, perfect, 5-pound baby girl was born. I was 35 weeks pregnant when I delivered her. I can vividly recall the events leading up to that day. I can remember not feeling movement in my belly and calling my husband who was working an overnight shift at the fire-station. He reassured me that everything was fine and that he was on his way home to get his baby-girl to kick for her daddy.


Demitri always had a way with Kennedy; he was always able to get her to move by talking to my belly. She loved the sound of her daddy's voice.  As soon as he came home he started talking to my belly with such hope in his voice. When she didn't move he went to the kitchen and grabbed the ol' safety orange juice... still no movement! So we called our doctor who instructed us to head straight to the hospital as a precautionary measure. I prayed so hard in the shower as I prepared to go to the hospital. With tears in my eyes I asked God to protect my babygirl, to make sure she was okay. I wanted to believe that she was just sleeping and our trip to the hospital just be a quick hook up to the heart monitor to tell us she was doing great and ready for her delivery the next week. We drove to the hospital to face the unknown. My youngest sister, Tiffany was with us, she and Demitri were so positive, they were certain that she was just fine. In my mind as I prepared to head to the hospital, I was not totally convinced that everything was okay, I guess it was my mommy instinct. I’d have to admit my pregnancy wasn’t the easiest pregnancy I had morning, afternoon, and night sickness and discovered that I also had preeclampsia, so I was being monitored very closely. In fact, I was having non-stress test performed every other day and had my last one less than 48 hours before. The test results showed that she was doing great and there were no concerns. Although I was on bed rest for the most part I was doing well and enjoying my pregnancy. Kennedy was very blessed and loved, she still is; she is so loved that she had three baby showers, one in Rhode Island, and two here in Virginia. With all the love, support, and gifts we were able to set up Kennedy’s nursery. All of her clothes were washed in Dreft and put in her white wardrobe. The theme of the nursery was set up so eloquent; the theme was butterflies and the colors were pink, white, and beige. Everything was perfect, all of the hopes and dreams we had to watch this little girl grow up in this room kept our hearts full of wonder. Her brother, Little Demitri had been an only child for 13 years so you can imagine the excitement he was feeling to finally have a sibling. Although I did not give birth to him, he is my son (we don’t use the term “step child” in our house) and I love him like my own. Our family was about to grow, and we could not be more happy and full of anticipation.

Fast forward to the short 15-minute drive to the hospital that seemed like an eternity. As we arrived we went directly to the maternity floor and were immediately hooked up to the Fetal Doppler heart monitor machine. One by one nurses walked in and out of our room; at times changing the machine to make sure it was working properly. My sister and husband still remained optimistic and hopeful, and me I was still silently praying and somewhat numb to everything that was happening around me. After about an hour of them trying to find her heart beat, they sent in a doctor. It was the on-call doctor, I had never met her before but she was about to deliver the worst news any parent could bear to hear. She was a total stranger to us and in a calm voice she looked at us and uttered the words, “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you that unfortunately there is no heartbeat, your daughter has passed away” She then said, “I will give you two a moment to digest this information and will be here to talk to you when you are ready.” She left quietly, I sobbed uncontrollably, and my husband lost it. He threw his cell phone across the room, tossed the chairs, and broke down crying like I have never witnessed him cry before. He went through every emotion possible and it was awful to watch. It was so unbearable to watch him grieve for his baby girl. I could do nothing but cry, I sat there in disbelief. I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t move, all I could do was cry. The silence and pain was truly unbearable. The doctors came in soon after and then informed me that not only had my baby died but I had to deliver her. Kennedy was my first child, so I had no clue what to expect in regards delivery, let alone the delivery of a deceased baby. What would she look like? What happens next? How will I go on without her? These were just a few thoughts that ran through my head. The doctors prepped me and I went into active labor. The first person I called was my mother, she knew what happened as my sister had already briefed her. When she handed me the phone I had no words and she had very few herself. I remember her encouraging me to stay calm and that she was on her way. And by on her way she meant she was leaving from Rhode Island and would be there in 10 hours. I thought I would deliver her before my parents arrived, but I didn’t. My parents were able to be there for the birth of their granddaughter. After 25 hours of brutal labor (in which my blood pressure skyrocketed so high that the doctors were concerned that I might have a stroke), I delivered my daughter. Kennedy came out in just two pushes, she was perfect, she was mine, and I loved her so much. She was everything I prayed for. My doctor placed her in my arms and I held her and cried so hard that it hurt. It was hard to breath I was overcome by her beauty and overcome with emotion at the same time. I gazed into her beautiful brown eyes and kissed her. I wanted this to all be a bad dream; this was not how our story was supposed to end. Instead of planning her future we had to plan her funeral. We were told that Kennedy died from Placenta Abruption, but that diagnosis didn't make it hurt any less, the pain was still there, and a part of me had died with my baby.

Unfortunately, I was too sick to help with the funeral planning so instead my mother and my husband made all the final arrangements. One thing that stuck out to me was when my mother was trying to find the perfect dress to put her granddaughter to rest in, it was merely impossible. My mother could not find a gown that fit my angel. She searched high and low and even tried doll clothing which was also too big for her. My mom did the best she could to honor her granddaughter and found a dress that was big on her but the smallest and most appropriate white dress and bonnet she could find.

Since this tragedy my husband and I have always wanted to honor Kennedy but never knew how we would honor her. It wasn’t until 2016 that the idea of making angel gowns and helping grieving families that knew our pain became the vision and focus of honoring Kennedy. This vision has now come to be a reality and we are now making angel gowns and other garments for angel babies and helping families who have suffered the loss of a child, before, during, or shortly after birth. These beautiful gowns are made from donated wedding gowns. In addition, Kennedy’s Angel Gowns helps families find resources and works to bring awareness to infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. We also donate Cuddle Cots and Caring Cradles to local hospitals. To date we have donated 5 Cuddle Cots and 2 Caring Cradles. More recently, we embarked on a new journey to provide our local hospital in Norfolk, Virginia with a Bereavement Suite.  The Bereavement suite which we named "The Butterfly Suite" is a private bereavement space for grieving patients and their visitors. This room designated specifically for a patient and her family/visitors who have experienced a Perinatal Loss in Labor and Delivery. This room is located in a private wing, among staff offices and doctor sleep rooms, so that the patient and her family will not hear the sound of babies crying or celebrating families. Patients cared for in the past, have expressed that seeing a baby or hearing a baby cry adds additional pain and suffering to their grief. We are beyond proud of this room and are thankful that families enduring this pain have a private place to grieve and begin their healing process.



I didn't think I'd ever survive this tragedy and feeling of emptiness, but through Kennedy’s Angel Gowns I've discovered life again and it has truly helped my healing process. Each gown is sewn with love and I pray over each gown and for the bereaved families as well. By dedicating myself to sewing these angel gowns and helping others in their time of grief I'm keeping Kennedy's memory alive. Kennedy never breathed a breath of air outside of my womb and yet she continues to make an impact on this world and her legacy lives on!

We now have a rainbow baby, Ryleigh Milan Wilson who was born on 12/18/10, her middle name was passed down by her older sister who continues to watch over her and our family daily. A "Rainbow Baby" is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillborn, neonatal death or infant loss. A beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better.

When we see a butterfly, we know that Kennedy is near, and it comforts us. These butterflies tend to appear when we need her most or when we are reaching milestones and for that I am truly thankful. Kennedy Milan Wilson, we will never forget you and will continue to honor and cherish your memory forever!”


If you would like to learn more about Kennedy’s Angel Gowns, Heather’s story, or find out how you can support her organization, please visit her website.

Website: https://www.kennedysangelgowns.org/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kennedysangelgowns/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kennedysangelgowns


“Monica Bivas was born in Colombia South America. She married the love of her life and since he already had a daughter, she was blessed with a wonderful stepdaughter. Although they had a little girl, they decided to grow their family. When Monica was 32 years old, she and her husband were informed that she had severe endometriosis that caused double blockage of her fallopian tubes, so her only option to become a mom was Invitro Fertilization (IVF). Even after doing a laparoscopy to try to unblock them, it didn’t work so IVF was now the real only option. Her husband Moshe Bivas was supporting all the way; however, the emotional stress was very heavy on them both.  Her first cycle was successful, they retrieved 34 eggs and 14 fertilized, 4 were transferred and she was a mom of a girl. She thought it was so easy that next cycle would be the same, but it was not….

In 2009, Monica and Moshe decided to have a second baby.  Due to a mistake made by the clinic in the dosage of medicine, Monica got OHSS and her cycle had to be cancelled. The RE offered them another cycle at no cost, assuming their responsibility in this mistake.

This time Monica and Moshe decided to do chromosomal testing because they wanted a baby boy.  They had 4 embryos, 3 were male. The single female embryo was the less developed. They decided to transfer all 4.  Oddly enough, they got pregnant with that baby girl. 

Monica’s pregnancy was good all the way, including the amniocentesis, which confirmed she was expecting a girl.  Everything was normal. But no one knew that Monica was developing a blood issue.  At 39 weeks, 3 days before the delivery due date, their baby girl, Isabelle, passed away in her womb due to a blood clot in the umbilical cord.

Monica had to deliver her anyway. Devastated and lost, she felt guilty for what happened. It was very painful and empty…so empty that Monica and Moshe pursued a 4th round of IVF less than 2 months later.  Monica did get a positive pregnancy test, but she miscarried at 7 weeks.

In 2011, Monica and Moshe got to the point of being completely lost, with no sign of how to find their way again. Driven by fear and ego, their relationship with each other turned into a disaster and they almost got divorced. They chose to make some changes. They chose love.

In 2012, Monica and Moshe decided to go for another round of IVF, the 5th and final. This cycle was an amazing experience; full of love, healthy dialogue and peace which was a direct result of working together as a team. This last round of IVF resulted in a baby girl. Their family was now complete.

After this experience, Monica decided she wanted to help encourage other woman struggling with infertility and loss. Today she is an IVF, Fertility, and life coach. She is also the author of the book The IVF Planner: A Personal Journal to Organize your Journey Through In vitro Fertilization (IVF) with Love & Positivity.”

If you would like more information about her book, coaching services, or products please see the information below:

Website: www.monicabivas.com   

Book: www.theivfplanner.com

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/monicabivasIVFcoach/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theivfjourney/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monicabivas/

Fertility Jewerly and Products: https://monicabivas.com/en/products/

© 2018 by I STILL Want To Be A Mom

  • Instagram Social Icon
  • w-facebook


  • w-youtube


PO Box 522

Brice, OH 43109


Foundation Link

You WILL be a mom!





Subscribe for Updates